A new commissioned work in response to COVID
A play in one act
Commissioned by the Great State of Minnesota
Written by Unfore Cenevents
ACT 1. SCENE 1.
INTERIOR – CONFERENCE ROOM OF A SMALL THEATRE (BOX OFFICE PERSONNEL)
An oversized conference table fills an undersized conference room that appears to double as a dressing room. Costume pieces lay scattered among stacks of scripts and other detritus of a theatre. A laptop is open and a phone lays on the table next to stacks of notepads and scraps of paper.
WASH FOR OFFICE SPACE.
The phone is ringing and a harried Box Office person rushes in to answer the phone.
ELECTRONIC RINGING PHONE.
BOX OFFICE PERSON:
(picking up the phone) Good afternoon, you’ve reached the Zephyr Theatre, how may I help you? (indistinct murmurings from the phone can be heard) I’m sorry, all shows have been postponed and we are shut down until the Corona virus is under control, or December 18, whichever is later. (murmurings again) We are theatre people, how could we possibly know when the virus will be under control? (a long silence is heard and then murmurings again) Yes, we would very much like to have performances outside, but have you ever blown a trumpet in 20 degree weather? Trust me, you don’t want to. (urgent murmurings) My suggestion is to contact the weather man and get him to change the weather. Or better yet, get everyone you know to come to our events once we do re-open. (murmurings increase) I realize the auditorium will be empty, I’m very sorry, but we can no longer have patrons in our building. (louder murmurings can be heard) I already told you that we cannot have patrons in the building. (what sounds like pleading murmurings can be heard) I know you’re worried about us. I’ll tell you what, you can make a donation to the theatre and help us get thru this crisis. It means a lot that you care enough to want to buy a ticket and sit in the empty theatre. But really, just visit our website and make a donation or you can buy a gift certificate. It’s the healthiest and safest way to support us right now. (murmurings continue) Yes, thank you too. Have a great holiday season and we will see you when we reopen! Goodbye.
FADE TO BLACK.